Contemplation of a Cluster Head
Heather McCain
When I try to tell people about my Cluster Headaches, I often get a response along the lines of, "Oh yeah, I get migraines, too."
I want to say, "I wish I only had migraines!" (I also get those). But, I don't, because I know they don't understand. They don't know what a Cluster Headache is. If they did, they would know that a Cluster Headache is like a migraine on steroids, ten fold.
When someone hears the word "headache," they don't think of one of the worst pains known to man. They think of the kind of pain you can push through, or rest through, not the kind that makes you pace and rock and scream in agony because the pain is so intense you can't even be still.
So, what is a Cluster Headache? They are characterized by intense pain, sometimes described as burning or an ice pick sensation, on one side of the head. The sufferers eye may swell and water and they may experience nasal dripping. As mentioned above, many sufferers rock, pace, push on their eye, scream or cry, bang their head, or show other signs of distress.
I want to say, "I wish I only had migraines!" (I also get those). But, I don't, because I know they don't understand. They don't know what a Cluster Headache is. If they did, they would know that a Cluster Headache is like a migraine on steroids, ten fold.
When someone hears the word "headache," they don't think of one of the worst pains known to man. They think of the kind of pain you can push through, or rest through, not the kind that makes you pace and rock and scream in agony because the pain is so intense you can't even be still.
So, what is a Cluster Headache? They are characterized by intense pain, sometimes described as burning or an ice pick sensation, on one side of the head. The sufferers eye may swell and water and they may experience nasal dripping. As mentioned above, many sufferers rock, pace, push on their eye, scream or cry, bang their head, or show other signs of distress.
Some people have chronic Cluster Headaches, and others experience periods of remission in between the clusters. A person may experience these headaches multiple times a day, or even once every other day, for a period of time ranging from weeks to months, then may go into remission for months or years before the headaches return. The pain often occurs around the same time of day as well.
Cluster headaches are often treated with triptans, preferably in an injectable form, and oxygen. For many, it takes seeing multiple doctors to be correctly diagnosed. For me, it took years before I met my now-neurologist who is a headache specialist and knew immediately when I described my symptoms what my diagnosis was. My primary doctor had told me the headaches likely weren't Cluster Headaches because they are rare and occur more often in men.
I am glad that I finally have a doctor knowledgable about this condition on my side, but living with Cluster Headaches can be hard. I know that for me, they completely disrupt my life for four to six weeks at a time. I usually go about a year in remission, but have gone up to two years. My last two cluster periods were only 8 months apart, and I am currently nearly 11 months from the last.
I do not know when they will strike again. No one knows for sure what causes these beasts to rage in our heads. I don't know why I have to suffer through unimaginable pain - pain so bad, these headaches have been dubbed "suicide headaches." It is a heartbreaking reality that suicide rates are higher amongst the Cluster Head community.
What I do know is that I have to keep moving forward. If I have to live with Cluster Headaches, then I will use my voice to educate people who don't know, and to tell those of you who do that you are not alone. I know it can feel lonely and isolating when most people can not truly understand your pain, but I see your battle, and I respect your fight, warrior.
Cluster headaches are often treated with triptans, preferably in an injectable form, and oxygen. For many, it takes seeing multiple doctors to be correctly diagnosed. For me, it took years before I met my now-neurologist who is a headache specialist and knew immediately when I described my symptoms what my diagnosis was. My primary doctor had told me the headaches likely weren't Cluster Headaches because they are rare and occur more often in men.
I am glad that I finally have a doctor knowledgable about this condition on my side, but living with Cluster Headaches can be hard. I know that for me, they completely disrupt my life for four to six weeks at a time. I usually go about a year in remission, but have gone up to two years. My last two cluster periods were only 8 months apart, and I am currently nearly 11 months from the last.
I do not know when they will strike again. No one knows for sure what causes these beasts to rage in our heads. I don't know why I have to suffer through unimaginable pain - pain so bad, these headaches have been dubbed "suicide headaches." It is a heartbreaking reality that suicide rates are higher amongst the Cluster Head community.
What I do know is that I have to keep moving forward. If I have to live with Cluster Headaches, then I will use my voice to educate people who don't know, and to tell those of you who do that you are not alone. I know it can feel lonely and isolating when most people can not truly understand your pain, but I see your battle, and I respect your fight, warrior.
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